October 25, 2013, by Eve

How to Watch a Final

I entreat you to indulge this one time and allow me to repeat the theme of bake off. The study of bake-offology has been so significant to me, and my fellow treat-loving students, that I feel it is important to, after putting forwards my theory, present you with the practice. Oh very formally wrote, me thinks. Jolly good!

To prepare for the historic final I decided to do a spot of baking. The aim was to eat the product while watching.

I choose cheese scones. Flour. Butter. Milk. Cheese.

This initially sounded much debate within the living room. Scones or scones? (I realise pronunciation is difficult to imply in text but you get the idea). We ovenagreed to disagree. But I’ve know things to get heated when it comes to different pronunciations.


Scones in the oven, I set my timer for 15 minutes. 15 minutes later… I set my timer for 5 minutes. 5 minutes later. I set it for just 10 more. Then 5 more. Then 10 more… I cooked scones for an hour!

Yes, before you ask, the oven was on. Did I try turning it off and on again? No, but I don’t think it would have helped.

Dear oven, if you’re reading this, may I say – for once and all – it’s not me, it’s you! I put everything into this relationship and what did you do? Burn the outside and leave the inside uncooked. It was hot when it started, but I don’t know if I can see you again (at least not for the next week). I think we should take a break.

Well, I ate the outside of the scones. They were nice on the outside.

But obviously they weren’t good enough to eat in front of bake off. What would Paul say?


So. Tuesday night. Laptop up. (We had to watch it on catch up).cakeparty

Is everyone sitting comfortably?

‘I can’t watch this without cake.’

Ok. We grabbed coats and umbrellas and ran – well, floppily jogged – down the road to the shining, God-like lights of Sainsburys.

I was terrified that we’d hear someone talking about the final. I suggested we go as fast as we could and hum loudly. Which I did – until some guy started staring at me.

The horde we snagged was:

  1. Friends Forever Cake
  2. Pretzels
  3. Easy-peel tangerines

spolierRight. Coats off. Cut cake. And we finally sat down for the final.

It was tension from the word cook. Ruby was racing ahead in the first task. Then Kimberly rushed forwards in the technical. But no one could beat Frances’ beautiful Midsummer Night’s Dream wedding cake.

I’m so glad we had cake ourselves. I drool so much watching bake off I need something edible to chew on, to stop me nibbling pillows or cushions. Or my hair.

The final announcement was suddenly upon us. Hands were squeezed. Faces clutches. Eyes bulging.

‘And the winner of the Great British Bake Off is…’she won

–          OH – forgot to say at the beginning of the blog – spoiler alert!


I jumped up and started yelling: ‘Yes! Yes! Frances! I was right! My blog was right! That’s on the internet! I was right!’

Then I heard a grumpy voice from below – ‘thanks! Guess I don’t need to watch to the end now.’

One of my housemates was watching the final in the floor below. She was only 15 minutes behind us.

Yes, I was that person. The stupid loud mouthed person! I am so sorry, dear housemate!

I’m sorry to end on a sad note but it’s the end of bake off. It’s been such an incredible couple of weeks. The loss is going to be tough. Guess I’ll have to get some cake to get over it. Or cookies…

Posted in Eve