October 3, 2013, by Eve

You know you’re back at Uni when…

… you buy a bag of sweet and salted popcorn and then proceed to eat the whole bag by yourself – even though you know it’ll make you feel sick – simply because it was on offer at Sainsbury’s for £1.

… you make some kind of melted ball of broccoli-tinned-tuna-rice-saucy thing but, as you’re making it, you imagine a smoothly attractive BBC voice saying ‘Eve has made Mediterranean rice with salt-steamed broccoli, freshly baked tuna and a broccoli jus.

… food is a major topic of conversation.

… you see someone dressed as a mango and no one bats an eye. Seriously! At Fresher’s Fair this year some guy was wobbling around dressed as mango! Banana – yeah, I’d understand, that’s a pretty stable fruit-related costume but a mango is just bizarre and excessively impractical. I still have no idea what he was advertising: Fruit-Club? The first rule of Fruit-Club, no one talks about Fruit-Club.

… you have an in depth discussion about how gender is culturally constructed and how to bake cat-cupcakes both in the same conversation. When baking my cat-cupcakes I prefer to use domestic cats, but you can use wild ones if the latter aren’t available.

… you have no plain paper and have to do your doodles on post-it-notes!

… you sneak a revolutionary flag into your house for your housemate’s birthday the next day. Well, maybe this one is specific to my housemate, who, in case you were wondering, loves Les Mis.

… the phrase ‘going to read’ is more accurately translated as ‘going to watch Downton’. I see Downton as an extra module that I’m taking this year – seminars become instruction in etiquette and decorum and assessments become Christmas specials (with an equal amount of tears).

… you spend a lot of time making ‘to do’ lists. Then copying them out in best.

… life stops when the kettle breaks!

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