Posts by Jem
Leftovers
April 12, 2019
Here is an article concerning leftovers and how you can acquire them – a fantastic and very clever segue from Shweta’s recent article on bargainous bites. I will let you in on a little secret: this term, leftover food has been my lifeblood. These leftovers were not obtained by foul means but rather via an …
Revision Refreshments
March 29, 2019
Dainties These are little shrivelled fruits often dusted with sugar (the fig dainties pictured forgo this accessory). Succumbing to the powerful temptation of a dried fruit dainty produces a thrilling, impish, almost minx-like sensation akin to the buzz one feels when engaging in a mild act of thievery. Do not feign innocent confusion, you are …
Harnessing Stress
March 15, 2019
Whenever I feel particularly stressed, I kneel down low and tuck my limbs in towards my tum to become very small and sweet; I’ve studied the hedgehog and in this here sequence of movements, I mimic its famous ball-up technique. I will flatter myself by writing that I am able to achieve an uncanny likeness …
The Art of the Shortcut
March 1, 2019
I am a connoisseur not of wine or jazz, but of shortcuts. My mind craves efficiency and is constantly calculating ways to streamline my travels. Once you recognise that a 30-minute trek can be shortened to a 10-minute march, I believe that you too will become host to this invaluable craving. Here, I aim to …
How to Avoid Making Impulse Purchases
February 15, 2019
Consider the wallet, Guardian of Cash. Consider the ease with which it fails in its duty as keeper of finances. The owner need only perform a quick pluck, a muscle memory motion, and there it is, torn from its denim hideaway, exposed to a cashier with eyes that track the owner’s hand as it performs …
The Mind of a Sickly Student
February 1, 2019
Last week, I took sick. Sudden, frightful, intense… the disease had ambitions to vanquish my innards and there were moments within those delirious 24 hours where I was convinced it would succeed. We’ve my masterful immune system to thank for the brevity of the illness, although its battle with the miniature intruders was invisible to …
A Success Story: Accumulating Wealth as a Student
January 18, 2019
It is a total tragedy that the typical student lacks any ambition to generate big bucks during their time at university. I follow the mantra: “Begin to make millions imminently” and now am a tycoon within the blacksmithing industry. Sure, the slogan was of great assistance, but how did I do it? How did I, …
Ultimate Revision Sounds
January 4, 2019
Monks’ Song Great singers ‘em monks is. I’m sure you are familiar with the works of these robed figures – they’ve been in the game for years – but for those who have led monk-deprived lives: these chaps are in possession of Adam’s Apples that produce a dreamy soothing sound in their collective resonation. The …
The Legend of Winter
December 21, 2018
Sure, humility’s a pretty thing but ugly it becomes when in the way of the truth. Frank honesty thus guides these five-fingered wonders across my keyboard, bidding them to spell out the truest of truths: I am a huge deal on campus and throughout Nottinghamshire I am considered a legend. Thanks to the inclusion of …
Be Wise, Be Warm – An Ingenious Guide to Winter Living
December 7, 2018
We have become insipid and spiritless in our approach to surviving Winter. This nation appears to be content with the dreary same old, same old survival formula of a scarf, a beanie, mittens, and a thick coat. The drive to dream up creative methods of maximising comfort has been snowed under by complacency. Want more. …
Student life on social
