January 4, 2019, by Jem

Ultimate Revision Sounds

Monks’ Song

Great singers ‘em monks is.

I’m sure you are familiar with the works of these robed figures – they’ve been in the game for years – but for those who have led monk-deprived lives: these chaps are in possession of Adam’s Apples that produce a dreamy soothing sound in their collective resonation. The tunes of a monk are perfectly suited to guide you through revision, for they rarely employ the common musical distractions of high-speed drumming or foul language.

Check out this calming number if you’ve a racing mind in want of tranquillity:


So lulling can the monks’ song be that there’s a real risk of slumber. To avoid getting saggy-eyed and monked out, counteract any sleepiness by listening to a sound that provokes great panic and distress. Much in the same way that we take alternating bites between cheddar and grapes to heighten their flavours, offset a monk’s chant with an abrupt blast of a siren. The heart suffers, but the mind is thankful; it knows this to be the only true way of maintaining focus during revision and, tucked away within the brain far from harm, it is willing to let the heart take the hit.


For those wary of the cardiovascular implications of repeatedly self-inducing the fight-or-flight response via alarming audio, I’ve an alternative sound to suggest – and I ain’t talking punk rock. I will preface its reveal by warning you that: to hear this particular noise, a mastery of subterfuge and a history of successful covert operations is necessary (a string of hide-and-seek triumphs is qualification enough).

Friend-to-friend revision quizzes is the name, eavesdropping is the game. Purchase plimsolls and prowl the library, cupping a keen ear to conversations until a pair of students testing one another on the knowledge relevant to your exam is detected. It is vital that you remain concealed whilst eavesdropping; utilise gaps in bookshelves unless you wish to alert the duo that there is, in fact, a third absorbee of the wisdom they believe to be in private circulation.

The genius of this suggestion is only fully comprehended by the reader when they consider that the sound is the revision itself. Think about it.

Posted in Jem