November 16, 2016, by Lucy
People You Will Meet at University
THE ONE WITH NO CONCEPT OF MONEY
Whilst you sit there on the verge of an existential crisis just thinking about your maintenance loan, they will be nonchalantly walking around with a myriad of shopping bags. Whilst you restrict yourself to a diet of Tesco everyday value items, they will be cooking up some steak in the kitchen. “How?” you ask yourself on a daily basis, they must be rich right? Probably not, but what do they care? Let’s just hope their overdraft has them covered, otherwise let’s all bless a good RIP to their back account.
THE ONE WHO IS PAYING £9000 FOR WHO KNOWS WHAT
There isn’t a student around who has never complained about the ever increasing university fees. However, most of us just accept the fact and use university as a means of gaining a respected level of education. As I said, this is most of us. It is inevitable, especially if you’re living in halls, that you will come across someone who isn’t making the most of their £9000. Lectures? “Who needs them when Moodle exists?” they’ll say. “Seminars? Nah thanks, I understand everything!” “The library? I’m alright, my wealth of knowledge is vast.” Erm… seriously? These people spend their days in bed, probably watching Come Dine With Me omnibuses – a good use of £9000 or what?
Before university I thought it was a universal concept that plates needed to be clean and carpets needed to be seen. Apparently not. Believe it or not, there are people out there who leave dishes to the washing up fairies and pile miscellaneous items on their carpet until a sea of rubbish has been formed. Let me tell you about a friend of mine whose flat mate arguably fit into this category. Once he went away for a weekend and proceeded to leave some mushrooms out to occupy the kitchen counter. So, as he left, the flies came. And boy did they come. Let’s just say his flat, and the cleaners, weren’t exactly too pleased.
On accommodation allocation day, you will find out that you are living in a flat of six. Come October time, you are struggling to name who the sixth person is, and beginning to question whether they even exist anymore. Bless the hermit: they are harmless little creatures who enjoy nothing more than their own company and the thought of their room representing their own sweet world. I should know, I am one. People may call them antisocial, or condemn their lack of effort when it comes to bonding, but they couldn’t care less, they are content as it is. Leave them be.
OTHER PEOPLE YOU WILL MEET AT UNI:
– THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ONE: characterised by a series of notes exclaiming that they’ve bought the last three bottles of soap. I get it. You keep buying soap. Chill.
– THE ONE WITH A WEIRD BODY CLOCK: “What’s that sound coming from the kitchen?” “Oh, don’t worry, it’s Josh making a casserole at 3 in the morning.”
– THE ONE WITH WEIRD EATING HABITS: also me. Apparently cheese and pickle isn’t considered a delicacy to everyone – who knew?
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