December 8, 2014, by James
Grumpy Old Man Winter
Ah the festive period, a time for love, compassion, family and relaxation. A time for all students, regardless of religion or creed to come together and swear at their textbooks because exams are only a month away, and I totally knew this yesterday so why can’t I remember it now and third year can’t be that important really…. Can it?!? GAH!
With this in mind I would like to take some time out to bless the world with a series of my meaningless gripes. Some are quite amusing, most are terribly self-indulgent. The moral of the story is I might need some more mulled wine before next week’s post…
1. I’m pretty sure the sun is hiding from me. As I walk around Lenton it keeps on sliding behind buildings and trees. If I get up late it’s barely there at all. I miss the sun.
2. Cloakroom fees in clubs are nothing more than a tax on the cold. When I am world dictator they shall be abolished and all who implemented them shall be sentenced to two years in a meat chiller. All prison uniforms will be knee-length dresses or sports vests.
3. I now spend more time forcing digital men to play football than I do playing football. Worse, I am far more talented with them than I am on an actual pitch.
4. I am paler than Casper’s anaemic cousin.
5. Skyscanner has jumped to the top of my favourite apps.
6. I need to hear ‘Fairy Tale of New York’ on the radio before I am allowed to accept it is Christmas. My radio is currently being repaired under warranty; it is due back January 2nd.
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