January 18, 2013, by Shane

Distractogram

Isn’t it ironic … that you probably found your way to this blog post as one of your many methods of skilled procrastination; the exact topic I’m going to have a chat about. And the main culprit on trial: social media.

We are currently half way though the exam period. I hope yours have gone/are going/will go amazingly! As for me, I had one where I saw my degree crumbling around me, and one that went goooood. My final one is a week today, so hopefully it’ll be 2/3 good ones for me.

The one thing that could stand in the way of next friday going swimmingly is social media: the procrastination pied piper. Firstly there’s Facebook, which my brain believes needs checking every five minutes in Hellward. I think its a sign of obsession when you open up your browser and typing ‘f’ and ‘enter’ into the search bar is a reflex. Oh how it makes us feel better scrolling through our timeline, seeing how everyone else is finding ways to avoid revision. On the plus side, Facebook has become more receptive to my emotions asking me “Hows it going Shane?” or “How you feeling Shane?” Siri eat your heart out.

Next we call ‘Twitter’ to the stand. The charges? Stalking, conspiracy to corrupt student success, and banter crimes. This little social media bird is such an outrageous time waster, yet tweeples feel it’s necessary to scroll through their entire newsfeed just in case they miss a crucially banterous tweet. Revision seems to encourage  poor banterful tweets about silent-study-zone offenders, which we will later look back at with cringing regret. It also advocates cyber-stalking of all the celebrities you follow (the dailymail showbiz website currently faces similar crimes against students). Yet is it our own fault for needing to know what Gaga, Riri and Biebs are up to at all times?

Perhaps the most sneaky, deceitful, sociminal (social media criminal) right now is instagram. Or should I say, distracogram. They say ‘a picture says a thousand words’, therefore, instead of reading our notes or essays, students have been caught constantly refreshing their instagram feed to see which hipster filter their friends have caught Nottingham’s Snowfall in today. I may or may not have fallen victim to this …

If you have cleverly asked a trustworthy friend to change all your passwords until after your exams, you are a wiser owl than the majority of students and I hope you reap the rewards.

And if social media wasn’t enough of a distraction, Jack Frost has come to play this weekend, bringing more of the fluffy white stuff we all love for two days and detest for the following week.

Good luck if you still have exams to come, may you find the strength to resist the temptations of the social media tree, or if not, find relief from the revision marathon in a hilarious tweet or meme!

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