June 15, 2014, by Eve

The Perfect Father’s Day

Geographical differences dictate that I am not with my father on this rather grey 2014 Father’s Day. However, with the power imagination and the descriptive word I shall attempt to illustrate the perfect Father’s Day for my father to enjoy in abstraction.

father9AM: A special cooked breakfast made by me. Mix and match from the following: fried eggs, scrambled eggs, poached eggs, baked beans, mushrooms, black pudding, smoked sausage, tomatoes, potato cake, oatcake, cheese on toast, sausages, bacon, smoked kipper. In this virtual Father’s Day world you don’t need to worry about being healthy – abstract food does not exist so eat as much as you like!

10AM: We go for a refreshing walk on Hampstead Heath – not the short half-hearted walk but a serious, cross-country (or rather cross-heath) walk. Topics of conversation may include: Carry Grant’s accent, Dorothy L. Sayers and the position of the young female detective, the joys of Lyme Regis, Forster’s obsession with Italy, Elliot’s obsession with England, Monsieur Hulot’s relationship to Mr Bean…father1

1PM: A gourmet pub lunch – I will be buying the pints! It’ll be warm enough to sit outside – but not too warm – and there’ll be a muddy dog wondering about watching everyone eat. Watch out for roast potatoes, rich gravy and various smartly dressed snooty minor Highgate celebrities.

3PM: After the hearty meal we’ll all stagger home and sit down in front of the TV to watch a war film or a western – and I’ll probably end up asking where the women are and commenting on the performance of the horses.

father26PM: Sketching in the garden. The cat will doubtless be posing outside so he’ll act as the perfect live model.

7PM: Probably time to start making some food – although I still feel too full after writing in the earlier food. I’ll just make a light spaghetti thing – or you can cook something up yourself like a broth or soup and I’ll promise not to complain.

9PM: Time for the second film of the day – this time it has to be something you haven’t seen, probably an action film or a modern comedy. And everyone will probably fall asleep on the sofa…

And so the virtual Father’s Day comes to an end.

Posted in Eve