April 12, 2023, by UoN School of English

If over-thinking burned calories, I’d be a supermodel

Being in your own company 24/7 can sometimes be tiresome – especially when every thought you have, every inconvenience, every problem is on a constant loop in your mind. Even if you don’t categorise yourself as an other-thinker, there is always that one moment, embarrassing or traumatic, that has daily reruns in your mind.

Unfortunately, this is the case for me. Getting accustomed to the nightly routine of tucking into bed and once again approaching the daunting thoughts that can’t seem to be slept away. But these shadows didn’t just appear of an evening (if only!) and soon my days were filled with the same wrought-out, exhausting thoughts and feelings identical to that of 8 months ago. And the realisation that this might be my thoughts for who-knows how long, was terrifying.

Knowing I couldn’t simply just not think, my next idea was filling my time with distractions. Unhealthy diversions were only temporary and made no real difference to this cause, so the desire for self-improvement and a clear headspace became apparent. Sports and exercise had always been a struggle for myself, lack of motivation and having asthma was a huge set back that limited my passions. Especially after the effects of long-covid in summer of ’21, where not only did I have to pay for a holiday I could no longer go on, I was bed bound and gasping at every step I took.

This set back, and being an anxious person in general, made joining a sports society a big deal. Yet after my first training session for women’s IMS football I had realised I wasn’t the only person with these struggles, and it didn’t matter how difficult I may find it. Luckily for me I had played football during high school, and if felt as if I had never stopped. What was even better – were those two hours of not-thinking. Of being surrounded by friends and having only one thing on your mind: winning.

From there not only did my confidence grow, I began going to the gym again after months of being in a slump, and even became Captain of an IMS team. This responsibility was a great diversion for a clouded mind, allowing me to branch out and join a Monday league as well.

This didn’t make the over-thinking simply disappear, but it has gotten quieter, which made me realise that maybe sports isn’t so scary after all.

– Abigael Woosey

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