June 19, 2014, by Eve
Truth and Lies: Getting Degree Results
Throughout my undergraduate years I was always worrying about my overall mark – it hung over every little piece of work like a 
weird abstract idol – however I never considered the reality of receiving confirmation of this omnipotent mark. I guess I expected it to be like receiving any other assessment feedback, hidden in an envelope in the English corridor. It wasn’t until a few weeks before I actually got this final of final results that I began to get an inkling of how they would be presented to us. The rumours soared, expanding and evolving along the way, until I had no idea what to expect as I rushed into University after receiving that fateful email: ‘English BA classifications ready’. So – to put the minds’ of others at rest – I have laid out some truths and lies about getting your degree results…
- To receive results you must first prove your identity but performing an acrobatic feat of your choice. FALSE.
- Despite technological advances over the last 50 or so years, results are printed on a measly piece of paper and pinned up in the Portland Atrium. TRUE.
- Results are listed using your student number so no one knows who’s got what. FALSE.
- Results are listed using your full name so all the world can see. TRUE.
- You will probably arrive in the atrium when it is completely empty and so may make your discovery in private. FALSE.
- There will inevitably be a big crowd of people all looking at the board when you arrive and thus you will have to crane or crouch in order to see your mark. TRUE.
- Everyone is very respectful of other people’s private marks and will not spend ages scanning the list to see what everyone else has got. FALSE.
- It will not only be students from your School who get results in the Atrium. TRUE.
- You will know the exact mark (and dissertation result) you’ve got from looking at the board and thus feel thoroughly satisfied. FALSE.
- Confetti will burst above you when you discover you’ve achieved your dream mark. FALSE.
- You will remain visibly unchanged from the knowledge, yet internally you will have changed forever. TRUE.
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