February 6, 2016, by Charlie Porter

Things Not To Ask a Final Year

It’s that time in a third year’s life when things are starting to accumulate. The work loads looming, dissertation and project deadlines creeping, the omniscient real-life approaching… But I’m not alone in my sorrow and stress. We final years gather together and share our woes, discussing the questions that trouble us so. Especially after a Christmas of relatives crowing over our soon-to-be adult life, I’ve decided to make a list of questions I’m frequently asked, and ones that made me cry inside.

1. How’s your dissertation going? Oh it’s going…. going slowly past me as I stare helplessly at a word count that should definitely be higher by now. I’ve noticed a unified “Ehhhh” to this question, which symbolises a polite reply but also doesn’t give away how much that question really cuts deep.
2. Are you coming out tonight? After I weigh the possibility of what a 3-am bedtime will do to my sleep pattern, and also the fact that I haven’t been out in several weeks that I’m not sure my social skills are in tune, I think I may just stay at home and watch War and Peace on iPlayer instead.
3. Wow, this is your last term at university? Are you excited? Am I excited to leave a life where I can lie in 4 days a week? Am I excited to give up my student-deal luxuries? Am I excited to burst this fantastical bubble that I’ve been ballooned in for the last three years?
4. So what are your plans for after university? To earn enough money to feed myself and to potentially find someone who thinks I’m as talented as my mum thinks I am, who might hire me.

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